Freakshake Freak-Out: Binging on Desserts in Perth

Have you ever heard of a freakshake?

Freakshakes are essentially milkshakes on steroids. They’re colorful, sweet, and coated in edible bling. They’re crafted for those with a penchant for over-the-top everything and an insatiable sweet tooth.

Brittany, blogger at The Sweet Wanderlust, came to Western Australia with the sole goal of finding Perth’s best freakshakes. She roped me in on her endeavor and took me around on a tour of the city’s most sugar-laden spots.

MOP Donuts

MOP Donuts is first and foremost a donut shop. They serve donuts filled with alcoholic cream, burgers made with a donuts as the bun, donut paninis, and other combinations that simply substitute a donut for any bread. One of their most popular freakshakes is topped with three mini burger sliders on top, waffle fries, and pickles around the edge. Another involves a bouquet of corn dogs. I ordered a unicorn milkshake that likely dyed my insides hot pink with sprinkles, cotton candy, a lollypop, rainbow cake, and kettle corn while Brittany slurped down a red velvet milkshake with a piece of red velvet-crusted chicken on top.

While MOP Donuts wins points for presentation, some of the toppings had that signature inside-of-the-fridge flavor.

Presentation: 9/10. Taste: 5/10.

Whisk Creamery

Whisk Creamery snubs it’s nose at the phrasing of freakshakes, opting to call their milkshakes topped with goodness gourmet milkshakes instead. And with all things gourmet, less is more (at least, that’s what I learned from Gordon Ramsay). Whisk Creamery uses high-quality ingredients to create something that tastes like you should be eating or drinking it with your pinky up. You can also order an array of donuts and cakes, though it’s known throughout the city for its gelato. On the menu they serve a cronutella milkshake topped with a croissant x donut x nutella, the honeyjar milkshake with sprinkles of honeycomb on top, a strawberries and cream milkshake, and one with an ode to s’mores.

We went with a group of friends and fortunately got to taste them all. While the presentation of the gourmet milkshakes was simple, the milkshake lived up to its reputation in terms of taste.

Presentation: 6/10. Taste: 10/10.

Jersey Jacks Gelato

We tasted a few freakshakes around Perth over

the course of a few days. Sometimes friends joined us, sometimes it was just us. A few times, Brittany sipped freakshakes solo — dedicated to the cause.

Jersey Jacks Gelato has its own take on freakshakes, topping each one with up to five scoops of gelato (you can pick the flavors), mini ice cream cones, and a donut for good measure. It’s ultra rich and decadent, and nearly everyone in the gelato shop swarmed the freakshake aptly named the Monstro Shake to take pictures.

Many of the Jersey Jacks Gelato flavors are a nod to Southeast Asia. You can top your shake with durian, tea, and coconut. Combining the variety of flavors together to form the perfect freakshake topping is a skill in itself. We appreciated that Jersey Jacks let its ingredients do the heavy lifting, and didn’t succumb to the trend of throwing sprinkles at a milkshake and calling it a freakshake.

It was after Jersey Jacks Gelato that one of my friends tapped out. The 15,000 calories of pure sugar and fat we’d consumed throughout the day was too much for his stomach to handle. While I felt disappointed and considered dropping him as a friend, I’d slapped my gut and powered onward. I didn’t want Brittany face the freakshakes alone.

Presentation: 9/10. Taste: 10/10

Rise & Grind Espresso Bar

Rise and Grind is an establishment built for the Instagram era. It’s walls are covered in quirky murals and the hallway to the parking lot features an array of different backdrops. Their menu features full meals but the highlights are obviously their freakshakes — that fit the definition of freakshake by every sense of the word.

Brittany ordered the aptly named “Type II” freakshake with a chocolate base and topped with a brownie, whipped cream, and a variety of Australian candy crumbles. I asked for another pink shake with mini ice cream cones, marshmallows, and gummy candies. Type II tasted like it gave us exactly that, and my milkshake was sweet enough without being completely cavity-inducing.

Presentation: 8/10. Taste: 9/10

Rabbit in the Moon

Rabbit in the Moon lured us to its restaurant with a chalk sign out front advertising a unicorn shake — complete with a cartoon drawing of a unicorn. We walked through its doors and prepared ourselves for this magical concoction, only to be told that they don’t make it anymore. The milkshake seemed as mythical as its namesake. Instead, we settled for a sea salt and waffle shake for Brittany and a peanut butter milkshake for me.

Both tasted good, but were a disappointing follow-up from promises of unicorns. Is this how children feel when they find out that Santa isn’t real?

Presentation: 5/10. Taste: 7/10.

Though I have quite the sugar addiction, I had no idea just how many freakshakes there were in Perth. Venturing out on a dessert tour of your own is probably one of the best ways to see parts of a city you haven’t seen before. Jersey Jacks wins the award for best freakshake all-around while Whisk Creamery outperforms many of its decked-out counterparts in terms of taste. MOP Donuts had all the looks but lacked in taste.

Still, the only way to decide which freakshake is your favorite is to go out and sample them all.

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