A last minute, two night trip to Bermuda. What could possibly go wrong?
- Two nights before trip: Stay up way too late, talking about entirely inappropriate things on the phone. Get three hours of sleep.
- One night before early morning flight: Teach a class until 10 p.m. Fail to pack before class. As soon as you get home, pack roll aboard suitcase neatly. Think: good, that’s done. Fail to zip the suitcase. Pull the suitcase off the bed. Everything falls on the floor. Scoop it up, stuff it all back in without refolding, commence cursing sequence.
- One night before early morning flight, moments later: Plug laptop into the kitchen outlet so you won’t forget it in the morning. Grab Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA from fridge to accompany a late night dinner. Lose grip on bottle while opening it. Spill beer all over laptop. At least it’s in its case, but said case now smells like a distillery. Contemplate smelling that in the morning. Curse more while washing case out in the sink.
- Five hours before early morning flight: Set alarm for p.m. instead of a.m.
- Three hours before early morning flight: Wonder why alarm hasn’t gone off. First lucky break: it’s only 10 minutes after the alarm was supposed to ring.
- Two hours before flight: In the car service on the way to the airport, text a friend that you’re sure the bad trip karma is all behind you now.
- One hour before flight, at the gate: Stand up to board the plane. Purse strap snaps — laptop, camera, wallet, keys scatter all over boarding area. Gather everything up and cradle purse in your arms. Start laughing.
- On flight: Ponder how you usually you travel with a backpack that contains the perfect, collapsible tote bag for just such emergencies. Remember how you decided to leave the backpack at home since this is such a short trip.
- Arrival in Bermuda: decide you must have a new purse immediately. Decide you don’t want it to be “too beachy,” so that you can “use it in New York.” Idiotically spend entire (bright sunshine, lovely hot) day shopping for new purse. Oh well, you think, that night over a Dark n’ Stormy, I’ll definitely go to the beach tomorrow.
- Tomorrow: thunderstorms and rain.
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Alison J. Stein
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