This week my husband and I have been mulling over a life-changing question. We’re contemplating scraping together enough cash for a down payment on a piece of property next to my hometown in Montana. Why? Because for years I have yearned to move back, and he’s willing to contemplate the idea … someday. (Actually, for years the conversation was, “I’ll live anywhere in the world with you, just not the Northeast of the US. If we live in America, it has to be somewhere nice, like Montana.” So we’ve been in the Northeastern US nearly 8 years now and the Hudson Valley is starting to grow on me — all these great farms and lots of hiking … but the weather sucks, and there’s ticks with Lyme disease all over.) This doesn’t mean we’re up and moving to Big Sky country, that’s not the life-changing question.
The question pertains to how we would pay for such a purchase. Assuming we could scrape together a down payment and get a loan for the rest — not looking too likely on either front at this point — we worked out a budget whereby we could actually just make the monthly payments (assuming no change in income — if we lose jobs, we’re screwed anyway, though).
There’s only one way we could do it: give up travel for a minimum of two years.
We’re both travel addicts; that’s probably why we got married in the first place, the shared lure of “somewhere else.” Travel takes a big chunk out of our budget every year, even with using frequent flyer miles and hotel points and finding lots of deals. It still costs money. Our landscaping is in shambles (literally, if you count the path cave-ins from woodchuck activity) because we would really rather spend the money hiking for a week in the Outback, or visiting small Russian villages, or hiding out on remote Scottish islands.
But we’re considering it. Because we’re having kids, life is short, Montana’s just about the most amazing place on earth, and we’d like to believe we could move back someday. And don’t underestimate the need for handy relatives to help out with childcare, a lack that has made life where we live very difficult at times.
We’ve contemplated temporary travel bans before, mostly for financial reasons, but never really stuck with them. It’s akin to dieting, I told my husband when he scoffed at the idea that we’d be able to stick with it this time. It’s not about denying yourself the cookie — it’s about persuading yourself that you would actually prefer feeling slimmer at the end of the day more than you want to eat that cookie right now. If you eat the cookie, then enjoying it is more important than losing weight. (Okay, messy analogy, and now I want a cookie, but I don’t diet so I don’t mind eating one.) We’ve never stuck with a travel ban because the reason for doing it — saving money — was way less interesting than going somewhere new.
In this case, though, the scales are wobbling fairly evenly. A two-year travel ban is actually something we might do … no visits to family in Russia or my desired trip to the village where my father was born in the Ural Mountains, no trek through Tibet that I’ve wanted to do most of my life, no visiting one of my best friends in Chile, no popping over to California to visit my sisters or Britain to visit my in-laws. That’s a lot of ‘not’s.’
So I’m curious: what would you give up travel for, even temporarily? Anything? Nothing? What is possibly more important than the lure of discovery in a foreign place?
I would say to go for it and just change the frequency or times and places you travel. I’ve recently done the same thing. Instead of getting on a plane everywhere, I bought a house and am using my traveler’s spirit to rediscover my home town. Traveling is a great mentality and you can leverage that even in the areas that you’re at. Of course I assume you’ve probably already explored Northeastern US but perhaps road trips to Canada? You wouldn’t have to give up travel 100%. That would just go against the grain. Good luck!
That’s great advice! I was thinking about that just after I posted that entry — especially as the next day we were going to see a Bob Dylan concert at the site of the original 1969 Woodstock concert. There’s tons to see and do in the Hudson Valley, and Canada, too, as you mentioned … it’s all just about getting in the right state of mind.
Hi,
I don’t think giving up travel is wise at all. It can lead to insanity, no! Really, it can!
My husband and I own our home and we both work in the arts, so … y’know, we’re hardly rolling in it. But we do ok. We have a daughter (5 and cute) and no family in the country, so … y’know, we do it all ourselves … and it’s good. We had to give up travel for 2 years and I hated it ~ no fun at all. I get horribly bored sitting about and talking. Lucky I like meditating, or I WOULD be mad!
So, like your first advice, not that I’m any good at all at advice but: diversify.
We did, it was ok.
We just got back from 3 weeks in Japan … and I’m all inspired-up again, ready to explore my local area (Tasmania, Australia) for a while till the next journey comes. It will probably take another 2 years (OS travel from Australia can be deathly expensive) … but we’ll do it. We MUST, or I might go mad. If by mad I mean going to sleep, being an asleep/alive person, then it is madness.
Life without travel to me is like being near dead.
So, there you have it, 12:41 am piece of thought from Tasmania.
Cheerio.
Daniela
My husband and I are in the middle of our 2-year ban on travel while he starts his own company. We decided that instead of turning to investors, we should do everything in our power to have the company be self-invested and self-run. Hopefully, in the long run this will mean MORE travel if we’re self-employed. But, right now we’re having fun exploring our local area – camping in the mountains, day-long hikes, checking out the local attractions. It’s hard, but hopefully it’ll be worth it in the end.
My wife and I are currently on a minimal personal travel regime as we are saving up for a house. It’s been tough, but it’s a decision that we are OK with as that’s one of our long term goals. We’d really like to explore and travel, but it’s not in the cards at the moment.
I do travel for business though, but I do feel bad leaving my wife behind. If I had a medical condition that precluded air travel, such as ear popping problems, then I’d give it up cold. Your health is really all you have.
There are local things to explore, so I guess I’d stick to more day trips.
Daniela, you’re absolutely right — but it sounds like you’re doing it a bit anyway! 2 years between trips … feels like forever sometimes.
Two years seems to be the standard for those of us who are trying or thinking of trying the travel ban. It’s interesting to see your experiences, Sara and Graham, because it seems like the only reasons travel addicts can truly give up travel for any period of time are a) to save up for a home, or b) to build a fulfilling career.
Interesting to think of giving up travel purely so that we can build a much-loved home base that we can love coming home to … when we return from our travels
I think your friend in Chile would be thrilled to visit you in Montana! Or, if you go to Chile, think of only paying the flight, not lodging. I think there’s room for creative solutions in tight times–house exchanges, etc. I say this as someone who knows what your hometown means to you. It seems fair to take a shot at it.
Thanks, Carolyn-girl
Creative solutions is really what I’m looking for. To be honest, the problem is getting the rather traditional spouse to go along with them!
And you’re welcome anytime — bet we’d see more of you in Montana, or we could visit Boulder when you’re there!