Traveling is attractive enough on its own, but some of you out there will be finding romance while you’re exploring, and I’m not talking about the Thomas Kohnstamm “I shagged a waitress while on assignment” type of relationship.
The serendipity of meeting the right person (or at least a temporarily right-seeming person) when you’re least looking for them comes to mind because on Sunday my husband I will have been married ten years.
It’s an unlikely anniversary. We met by chance while I was studying abroad in Scotland. I was there only three months, and never could have guessed that, when a tall Englishman stopped by my door one chilly February day to introduce himself as my sub-warden, I would be having kids with him a decade later. We dated for two months, I returned to America to finish my degree, and a year later I moved to Vienna, Austria, where he was then living, with $700 in my pocket and my entire collection of Jane Austen paperbacks.
My husband and I were drawn together by a love of travel. I certainly hadn’t expected to fall for an immaculately dressed physicist who likes handmade English shoes, and he definitely wasn’t looking for a barefoot hippichick who likes punk music and plays the the harp. But when we first met, we talked about the places we’d been and all the places we longed to go and realized that our curiosity about the world trumped less meaningful indications of compatibility.
The wanderlust-driven romance seems to run in both our families. My parents met while my mother was on a 10-day sponsored student trip to Leningrad in 1969. As head of his university’s Komsomol, my father took charge of the prettiest American student in the bunch. She returned the next year on a Fulbright scholarship, and they were married for 25 years.
My husband’s parents’ intersection was even more unlikely. They met on the “Silver Arrow” train to Paris. He was heading off to wander through Austria and then-Czechoslovakia, and she was traveling with her aunt and uncle for a girl’s first trip to Paris. They talked for an hour; he took her address and promised to write a letter, which she never expected would arrive. They’ve been married over 40 years and their happiest times are spent finding new places to take trains through Europe and Scotland.
In an age when we expect to road-test our partners for a few years before committing to marriage or any long-term relationship, meeting a companion while just passing through seems unlikely — even more unlikely that such a relationship might last. But, having watched the settled happiness of my in-laws’ marriage against the divorces of my contemporaries who lived together first as a precaution, I know that you’re no more likely to find out a possible partner’s quirks and annoyances in two years than you are in two hours. Why not take a chance?





What a beautiful essay! From the way you describe it, I’m convinced that meeting by chance in an exotic locale is really the only way to find happiness! My best wishes to you and your immaculately dressed husband on your anniversary.
Happy Anniversary!
I met my husband while travelling in India. I’m all for taking a chance.
When you marry someone from another country your world doubles and what could be better than that type of growth.
Thanks Melinda! Although there’s always the argument for the boy next door
Wendy, what a lovely way to put it. I love this: “Your world doubles.” So very, very true.
I loved reading the story of how you met your husband, because it’s so close to home. I met my boyfriend when he came over from America to Scotland to study… we were living in the same block of university housing (horrible sixties building that was overcapacity and condemned to be knocked down the next semester).. He stayed for 4 months, then had to go to Argentina on exchange for 6 months, but we met again in the summer, and he visited while studying for his final year in the states it’ll be 5 years come mid october… these things can happen.
Happy anniversary
Helen, that’s a beautiful story. I wish you both wonderful times together!
Wouldn’t have been David Russell Hall in St. Andrews, would it?
My wife Lauri and I met while she came to visit London over Christmas 2006. Five weeks later we married in Big Sur! We even managed to get our story mentioned over at Nerve.com.
Read more at http://www.eyeflare.com/article/we-have-hit-nerve/
Yes, taking a chance is the right thing to do. I met my life partner and we both took a chance on each other. Oh, our marriage took place at the edge of a cliff, both because of the beauty of Big Sur and in recognition of the risks we took.
Hey it was!
such a lovely town, I have many fond memories…but how did you guess?
I love all the happy stories people are posting, inspired by your blog. wonderful stuff
Good blog post!. I love many of those cities you mention. Vienna, Austria is a lovely place and London is where I lived for a few years. Great story!
Dubai apartments
I found my mate at the campground at Ayers Rock, we were both a long way from home. Now, he’s just over there in the kitchen while I type this…
Jack, I love that image of a wedding on the Big Sur cliffs – such a beautiful place, and so symbolic, as you said, of two people with adventurous spirits.
Paul, thanks for the comment!
Pam, I love Ayers Rock/Uluru! That is a long way from home, wow. But it’s the sort of place that can scour your priorities clean, so I can see meeting someone special there.
Helen, it was this description: “horrible sixties building that was overcapacity and condemned to be knocked down the next semester.” Knew that had to be David Russell! Well, St. A’s must be charmed, because that’s where we met, too, in ’97. I got lucky, though — I was in New Hall, much more comfy