The EU, in a move characterized by staggeringly short-sighted stupidity, has approved the use of mobile phones on planes in EU airspace. Interestingly, while the story has been reported in the US news under the travel or news sections, the report from the BBC was relegated to the technology section. If I had a newspaper, I’d run it under the “people who run our world are complete monkeys” section, this being an example of what must be late-night decision making by drunken monkeys.

When I wrote about the prospect of phones on planes earlier this year, I was worried but didn’t really believe it would happen in a sane country any time soon. My criticisms were real, but tongue was firmly planted in cheek.

Now I’m just pissed. The EU is encouraging airlines to set limits on 1) number of calls, 2) duration of calls, 3) timing of calls (as in no calls at night), and encouraging providers to set limits on 4) price. Nobody has mentioned anything about setting a limit on 5) the number of people irritated passengers can strangle. Goody. Do they really think that terrorism and safety are the only issues, and the annoyance factor only an afterthought?

I know some people out there don’t think this is such a big deal, but let me ask you this: in your frantic race to establish all sorts of rights for yourself to stay in meaningless contact with people who can surely wait a few hours, did you ever stop to consider others’ rights to peace and quiet?

I’m sick of decisions like this. I’m a lover of vast, quiet places, serene nature, old trees, massive mountains, silent lakes. I spend travel time searching for these increasingly rare spots. There is almost nowhere in the world I can go anymore to find them. Always, the rights of people to drive ATVs and snowmobiles through quiet woods, to gun pointless speeding motorboats through lakes previously unpolluted by petrol or noise, to blare music along stretches of gentle beaches, and to chatter inanely and loudly on mobile phones while in transit, always, these supposed rights take precedence over the right to quiet. It’s a world run by extroverts who can’t shut up and can’t stand a moment of silence.

Contemplating a trip to Europe next month, I was holding back because my baby is teething and I was concerned about the effect his relentless crying would have on my fellow prisoners in a tin can. But now I’ll take him gleefully. Anyone who thinks that I can’t complain about their right to make one more unnecessary business call or who forces me to listen to their previous night’s sex exploits deserves to have my son screaming in their ear for six hours.

That is, until I board a Lufthansa flight. That airline has, thankfully, decided to sit mobiles out and will be simply providing fast Internet access instead. For you, Lufthansa, I will soothe my son to sleep. What goes around comes around. Shush.

The best place in the world to see masses of colorful springtime flowers is the Keukenhof Gardens.

Located between Amsterdam and The Hague in Lisse, it used to be a “kitchen garden” for the residents of the castle belonging to Dutch Countess Jacoba van Beiren. Today’s Keukenhof was originally arranged by the same people who designed Amsterdam’s Vondelpark, JD and LP Zocher.

Even if you aren’t big on botanical gardens in general, or much of a gardener yourself, the spectacular grounds and “inspiration gardens” will make you want to run home and grab a trowel to start digging.

It is open 8:00 am to 7:30 pm daily, from 20 March to 18 May 2008.

Related posts:

• Dutch daily life: swing by the brouwerij (brewery)
• Christmas in a cave: Valkenburg, the Netherlands
• Go where there’s always snow

A New Zealand Road Trip continues…

Next stop Glacier Country. It’s only a few hours south of Hokitika and the only way to get there by car is via State Highway 6. Named ‘one of the top coastal drives in the world’ by Lonely Planet, this highway is sandwiched between the often fierce Tasman Sea on one side and the formidable Southern Alps on the other. Driving this highway lets you experience the extreme diversity of New Zealand’s landscape, from stunning ocean views to hidden pre historic looking rainforests. The only thing missing in the dinosaurs.

It is deep in this rainforest that you will find first the Franz Josef and then the Fox glaciers. There are actually hundreds of glaciers here, but these two glaciers are New Zealand’s most famous and most accessible ones. You can easily get up close and personal with these glaciers by taking a guided hike or ice climb. Or you could aim for a bird’s eye view through by helicopter or airplane. There are plenty of options available. The towns of Franz Josef and Fox exist to provide these options and more.

And now there is one more option - the Hukawai Center. Catering primarily for those rainy days (and there are a lot of them in Glacier Country) when visibility is non existant, the Hukawai Center offers a new way to explore the glaciers. It’s Interactive Walkthrough uses audio-visuals, amazing 3D creatives, leading edge animation technology and local knowledge to create a stimulation of the Franz Josef Glacier, complete with ice caves and crevasses.

It also offers a 10 meter indoor ice climbing wall. And that’s where I headed soon after I arrived in Franz Josef. I’m not a climber. I don’t even like heights. But something about the idea of ice climbing appealed to me and I wanted to give it a go in comfortable and safe surroundings.

So I suited up, loaded up with equipment, and got tied up with rope. I was good to go. And under the amazing patience of my instructor, I managed to slowly make my way up the ice wall. Very slowly. Not very far. In fact, only a couple of steps up and I was ready to get back down. But my instructor persisted and somehow I made it up another step and then another.

I never reached the top. But that’s okay. Just trying was enough.

(Disclaimer: That’s me on the left. I only wish I could have been as agile as the climber on the right)

Do you have a flair for taking unusual and striking travel photos? Do the too-perfect fashion, food, and hotel lobby shots in the typical glossy travel mag make you yawn?

Then head over to the just-announced Remarkable Photo Contest at Perceptive Travel. We are going to be giving away a bunch of prizes, including the LowePro CompuDaypack bag pictured here–a $70 value. Also up for grabs are a $50 gift certificate, your choice of a Perceptive Travel shirt, and (ahem) my new book co-authored with Rob Sangster called Traveler’s Tool Kit: Mexico and Central America.

Last year’s contest garnered around 50 entries. Follow this link for the great photos that won. We will probably get more this time since our audience is now bigger and that contest was only focused on Asia. Still, we don’t exactly have National Geographic’s readership, so your odds are pretty good.

What are we and the judges looking for? Not the same ole same old, that’s for sure. Wow us, surprise us, give us an image that will sear itself into our brains and still be there two years from now. Send something that will make us stop multi-tasking and actually focus on the screen for more than two seconds. In short, a digital photograph that is…remarkable.

A max of two entries per person. See the announcement for the short and sweet rules.

A big hello from New Zealand to all the Perceptive Travel readers.

As an introduction to my world, I’d like to take you all on a road trip…to the West Coast of New Zealand’s South Island.

Last week I decided to run away from home for a few days. I was tired and grumpy - a sure sign that it was time to get away from the computer and spend some time in the great outdoors and recharge the batteries. And where better to do this than the West Coast.

After all, it’s only a three hour drive from my hometown of Christchurch if you go via Arthur’s Pass (an alternative route, via the Lewis Pass, will take you a few extra hours).

Leave at sunrise and you can be on the Coast mid morning, just in time for a late breakfast at the popular Cafe de Paris in Hokitika. Located on the corner of Tancred Street, this cafe has been serving up ‘French food with a Kiwi accent’ for the past 20 years. But before you place your order, go across the street to the Information Center (housed in the historic Carnegie Building) and pick up some brochures and maps to study while you eat.

Don’t let the towns quiet demeanour fool you. It might seem like a sleepy little town but there’s more to Hokitika than meets the eye. It has a wild side that shines through every March when the Wild Food Festival comes to town and challenges those with cast iron stomachs to participate in the ultimate taste test. We are not talking about the traditional Sunday roast here. We are talking weird, whacky, and downright strange dishes. Dishes like ‘crouching grasshoppers’, ‘worm terrine’ and ‘bull semen shooters’.

I was too late for this years Wild Food Festival but that was okay. I had another challenge in mind. I wanted to do some jade carving and create my own taonga (treasure).

It would, of course, been much easier to slip into one of the many jade studios lining the streets of Hokitika and purchase a jade pendant. But anyone could do that. I wanted to do something different.

So I headed for the Bonz ‘n’ Stonz Studio and Workshop a couple of doors down from the Cafe de Paris. Run by Steve Gwaliasi, this carving workshop is truly a hands-on experience. From tracing the design onto the jade to the final polish and buff, the work is all your own. It’s messy work - the jade is held under running water while you grind away the sides and carve out the design. Along the way, I was splattered, dusted, and attacked by rotating sandpaper but luckily no fingers or blood loss occurred.

The gentle guidance, instruction, and direction by Steve (and his apprentice) make it safe and easy - so much so that the final product looks and feels as good as anything I could have bought in the studio shop. Granted, there are some imperfections, but they are my imperfections and they make my jade pendant a real treasure.

So where, you might ask, is this magnificant creation? Why haven’t you added a before and after photo?

All I can say is ‘technical difficulties’. I’m having trouble getting the images transferred from camera to computer…but as soon as I get it sorted I will be showing off my handwork.

Tomorrow: The Journey Continues - From Jade Carving to Ice Climbing.