A plea for nursing mothers traveling without their kids
Posted February 27th, 2008 by Antonia MalchikA letter writer in a non-travel magazine I get has sent out a desperate call for advice. She’s a businesswoman who travels a lot, but who also has toddlers and babies at home. Her problem? She’s devoted to giving her kids breast milk, and is having a hard time finding places in airports where she can use a pump to express milk.
I don’t know how much play this issue gets in other countries, but in America breastfeeding has moved from a silent battle of wills to the forefront of what is idiotically dubbed “The Mommy Wars.” And there’s practically no place it’s more important than while traveling — whether traveling for work or pleasure, a mother’s got to feed her kids.
While the actual act of nursing has received increasing support, as demonstrated by the incredibly effective nurse-in lactivist conventions held in 2006 when an airline crew in Vermont kicked a breastfeeding mother off a flight for refusing to cover her baby with a blanket, there is very little space or opportunity given for women to express milk using a breast pump while traveling.
I won’t dwell on the overwhelming benefits of breast milk over formula (like the fact that formula-fed babies are at least twice as likely to suffer later from asthma, respiratory infections, and allergies; and breastfed babies have been shown to have score about 8 points higher on IQ tests). And as for breastfeeding while traveling, fellow blogger Sheila has a great post on her Family Travel site about how easy and stress-free it is. (Note: if Family Travel gives you a message that the internal links are borked, just type “lactivist” into the search function to find the post.)
What’s important here is that attaching yourself to a pump is really hard work. I had to do it for a month straight when my son was first born, and it’s no fun at all. It’s uncomfortable and time consuming; it requires more space than just popping the baby on (what my husband terms Glug-a-Jug, as if Hooters had opened a milk bar); it looks weird if you have to do it in public; and, if you’re stressed or pressured, it’s actually more difficult to produce enough milk to feed the baby when you get back home. And you have to do it every 3-4 hours or you’ll seriously regret it, which pretty much covers most check-in-and-wait times at major airports.
But women do it because they know how much their kids need it. Breast milk is, after all, the best nutrition on the planet. And it seems that societies that profess to put families and children foremost should provide places where a traveling mother can hide out in peace and quiet and pump away.
Public bathrooms don’t cut it. As my mother-in-law points out, parents shouldn’t even have to change their babies in those places, which are unsanitary and cumbersome. That goes double for pumping breast milk, when it’s essential that you keep the bottles and other equipment sterile.
I’ve done some searching since I read the woman’s plea for help, and have no good answers. Women are advised to make sure they have all their parts with them and pre-sterilized, and are cautioned to advise security that they’re sending a pump through because some nursing mothers have been stopped when their pumps looked like bombs. One woman says she just used the family restroom, but had to check both milk (in freezer packs) and pump and the pump ended up damaged.
Now that I’m looking to travel with a baby, I look at airports in a whole new light, and it seems to me that they are still overwhelmingly set up to cater to male business travelers and university students on their first I’m-discovering-myself-in-Cambodia backpacking tour. What I’d really love to see are worldwide airport branches of Mom’s Breastaurant (a kiosk that currently focuses on outdoor sports and fair-type events), but for now a clean, quiet room would do.
Related posts:
- Admit it: Sometimes traveling with kids just plain sucks
- Have Baby Will Travel Redux
- Traveling without the male of the species
- World Class: What do kids get out of travel?
February 27th, 2008 at 8:20 am
There’s one very easy solution–pay more and get access to the airline lounges. There are all kinds of nooks and crannies in those places where it is very easy to duck away, including small meeting rooms in the larger ones and cubicle set-ups in even the smallest ones. Hey, business people pay more to have a quiet workspace and easy cocktail access, for nursing mothers it might make sense to pay more to have a quiet private space for nursing.
Two ways to do this without hitting elite level. You can pay up for a Platinum Credit Card from American Expressor you can do more of a “pay as you go” deal with Priority Pass. Either one will get you in a variety of lounges, so you’re not tied to just one airline.
February 27th, 2008 at 10:20 am
That’s a great tip, Tim. I wish those lounges were always accessible to everyone–imagine the decrease in air rage!
If you’re a firm society-supported lactivist, it’s not the perfect answer, but it’s a lot better than hiding out in the family bathroom fumbling with bottles and plugs.
February 27th, 2008 at 10:49 am
“it seems to me that they are still overwhelmingly set up to cater to male business travelers and university students”
Antonia – well put! Like Sheila, we’ve had great experiences traveling with a nursing baby, but that was sometimes in the face of a “why don’t you stay home until they’re grown” look while boarding. Not every time, but often enough that I wanted to say “your mom must be very proud of your success…” to the person giving the look.
I think, as more working moms travel, and as more traveling adults parent, airports should consider adding quiet rooms, that don’t cost extra. Especially when flight delays have the potential to completely jam up already tight feeding AND pumping schedules.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Thanks for the comment Fran — and I just read the fantastic post on your blog about parents being pariahs on planes and in airports. Such insightful thoughts!
Some time ago I linked to a Broadsheet post on a widely reported situation where a flight attendant told a woman to medicate her kid to keep him quiet (after the flight had been delayed 11 hours!), and the comments on that board circled back to a sometimes repulsive attitude Americans have toward children, and people who chose to have them. I’d say it boils down to a difference in philosophy: During my pregnancy in the US, I felt pretty ostracized, very much a “goodonya, you’re on your own with this one” reaction from people without kids. When I traveled to Portugal, I almost wanted to move there, the reaction of strangers to a pregnant woman was so different. It seemed like the entire society cared about the welfare of every child that crossed their paths — and cared about their mothers, too.
February 28th, 2008 at 1:30 am
Antonia – this is a good point. We have had the same issue – though it is not such a big problem all over Europe. I am sure that in France women who go back to work after maternity leave can get statutory ‘milking breaks’ whilst they are still breast feeding to express.
February 28th, 2008 at 7:23 am
As with many things, Europe seems to be far ahead of us. Kind of getting off topic here, but there was a case in New York City where a lawyer sued her firm because they didn’t provide a room for her to pump in peace — she had to use the bathroom. Well, she won. But then she or the firm got sued again because someone else who worked there — a cleaner or the woman’s assistant, I can’t remember — wasn’t allowed to use the pump room. It was only for lawyers. Classism, anyone?
February 28th, 2008 at 9:43 am
I pumped for a long time for my son who was unable to nurse. In airports there are sometimes shower rooms or nap rooms (for a charge) & they can be a more comfortable place to pump than a bathroom. (I was always grossed out by the idea of making food in a bathroom)
Pumping onboard the plane was challenging too (remember, with no refrigeration and long haul flights, I had to pump every time he finished a bottle). I tried to time things for the quiet times on the airplane… just after takeoff & just before landing or while the drink cart was in the aisles. I covered up with a blanket & it looked really odd, but there wasn’t really another choice.
My daughter nurses, which is of course much easier, but can sometimes be a bit uncomfortable in tight quarters. I wrote an article about it nursing on a plane a few months ago at http://www.deliciousbaby.com/journal/2007/sep/21/nursing-plane/
Debbie
http://www.deliciousbaby.com
Traveling With Kids
February 28th, 2008 at 10:36 am
Debbie, I feel for you — and admire you, too. It really is no fun pumping, and takes a tremendous amount of committment.
I was trying to imagine pumping in an airplane seat, and thought it must be one of the most uncomfortable things you can do on an already uncomfortable flight.
Your article about nursing on the plane and the anxiety it comes with really hit the nail on the head. It’s worse than so many other situations because you’re really trapped, and can’t escape the scathing looks or snide remarks — or the fellow lactivist who wants to ensure you’re going to nurse until they go to kindergarten!
November 18th, 2008 at 5:16 am
I can also get very angry when traveling with babies in airplanes about other passengers that show no patience with the little ones. Sure, it’s annoying when a baby cries, but they can’t really help it.
As for nursing, my wife nursed on long plane trips, and it went really well. But pumping and traveling, that sounds like hell… respect to all moms!
November 19th, 2008 at 8:45 am
Kudos to your wife, Peter. And I agree — pumping while traveling is awful! I did it once for a 4-day trip, and it was an incredible annoyance. Worth it in the long run, of course, but I can’t imagine having to do it while working full-time and traveling a lot.